I am sure you have found yourself making plans for a future you see laid out in front of you. Your wants and the things you believe will make you happy. Maybe you attempted to barter with God-making promises to be a certain way if things just go as you plan.
Alas, we are not here for a human plan; we are here for a purpose. God’s purpose.
He gave us free will-A choice to make every day we wake up. God is not a puppet master pulling strings, He isn’t a genie giving 3 wishes and that’s all you get.
He is so much more. Waking up to new mercies every morning is superior to limited wishes of temporary satisfaction.
He is a good father who created us for a divine purpose. A purpose beyond human comprehension.
I wasted tears, and breath and sanity for so long trying to bargain with God. I tried to beg for something different, something that was not meant for me-and for reasons unknown to the human mind.
I wanted that miracle of a tiny life to be mine too. I wanted to share the moments with my husband and watch him love our baby. That is not our purpose, not right now- maybe never.
Recently as I was evaluating the last decade of my life and trying to understand where God wants me and why I am here in this moment. I saw God’s hand over my entire life, but so much over the last 10 years and even more the last few years as I have trusted Him more and given my life to Him completely.
God placed me in the lives of children who had a need for me, some for a season, some still do and being that bonus in their life has been a gift.
A blessing I was unaware had such impact until I take a moment and see it for myself.
Then I began to wonder how those children would be affected if I was too busy with a baby or preoccupied by being a mother to my “own” children.
I have plenty of children, truth be told, and I have been honored to be the aunt and bonus mom.
I cannot fathom the hurt they would have felt if I told them I didn’t have time for them.
And having them- I have no idea how I managed to find happiness before.
Seasons come and go. Some are really long and others are over before we have time to process it.
And there is joy to be found throughout all seasons.
I could never have been so strategic in my life as God has been. He sees all the things I cannot and has made a way that I could not. In return, I have learned to trust Him, believe in His promises, and stop trying to force what is not meant to be or not meant to be right now.
Human beings get impatient waiting on an Amazon package to be delivered 12 hours later. Imagine if God showed us our life 5 years from now, but we had to wait for it to play out in His time?
Most humans are not good at long games.
There is a book He gave us that tells us exactly what to do, but its hard and requires patience and humans aren’t good at that either.
I challenge you to take a daily account, a decade account, of your life. Where were you? Where did God pull you out of? Where do you see those blessings?
Your life is yours and you have a choice. Choosing the righteous path, lit up by the light of God’s word will lead you to the purpose you are meant for, and you will be blessed in it more than the plan you “thought” for.