Are you a people person?
My brother was preaching and said something about “it’s not okay to not be a “people person”, and I was waiting for him to call me out because that had always been me. He said a lot of other stuff too, but I was lost in thought on that specific detail.
I’m sure it’s shocking-but I don’t always agree with my brother, even though he thinks he is the most right. (insert eye-roll).
Several years ago, my brother invited us to church-(actually, more demanded it).
Anyway, I watched as he managed to put aside his feelings get along with others, and carry on conversation. He would frequently tell me to smile, look friendlier, and talk to people. I was a bit insulted because not so long ago he wasn’t much different.
I didn’t want to do whatever it was he was doing, and not because I was trying to scare people away, it was uncomfortable.
I can’t stand my “put on” smile and I am such a real person that I felt fake if it was forced.
Truth be told I was also keeping up a wall around my heart.
I don’t trust easily, and I don’t have time to be a committed friend. I am one of those people you call for an emergency, not to go to brunch. It’s not you, it’s me, my schedule is full, and I don’t want to disappoint you.
But am I a people person? I guess that depends on how you choose to define it.
To me, a “people” person is someone who can mingle with all the people and still have energy in the tank at the end of the day.
I just don’t fit in everywhere. I don’t mold well.
Here is the thing… the big idea according to me.
I am not shy, not antisocial, and I don’t loathe being around people. I loathe the noise.
I don’t believe we all have to wake up and put on the same hats and personality traits as everyone else.
We are human and pretending is exhausting.
I find sincere people to be the best.
We absolutely need to treat others with kindness and respect.
We don’t need to fake it until we make it. We need to pray about it and let God work it out.
Maybe that is just how some have to do it, for me, I needed God to work in me because there was nothing I could do to knock that wall down.
Trying to be a certain way that is not natural for me was more frustrating and confining than anything else.
I am a natural loner. I prefer the quiet, I don’t even like to drive with a radio on.
I prefer books to noise.
I prefer the sound of a breeze to the nuisance of traffic.
And if I had my way I would live in the mountains between the trees.
I prefer solitude.
But that isn’t going to help God’s purpose in my life.
Something my brother said I do agree with- we need people because that is God’s creation.
We are not meant to walk alone. (I know we are never alone because God is always with us) You know what I mean.
The journey here is to be helpful, to teach God’s word, and to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
As said in Matthew 28:19-20 “We are commissioned to spread His teachings and expand His Kingdom. As His hands and feet, we are to go out into the world, share his message, and bring others into the fold of His love, all the while being reassured of his enduring presence.”
And we need to be the kind of people that people can rely on.
The major change in my response to others of genuine empathy, and love is the desire to be useful in God’s church.
This change was not instant.
I didn’t fake it.
I wasn’t intentional about my interactions with others in the beginning.
I was, however, intentional about praying to be intentional and more social.
The more I grew in my faith and opened my heart to God the more He changed me. He gave me a genuine overabundance of grace and love for others.
I am still totally human and other humans can aggravate the fire out of me, but that is why I pray to be able to accept who they are and meet them with love and mercy.
No doubt I am sure I can be that person to others, and I hope they meet me with the same compassion.
God works miracles, he doesn’t grant wishes- so the work has to happen on our end too. We have to open the door to Him.
We have to accept we are imperfect, sinners and need our savior.
We won’t change if we don’t admit we need to.
I needed to change. God wants you to be more. He created you for a purpose and as long as you’re hiding behind your wall of anger or behaviors that keep you from opening up to others- that purpose cannot come to fruition.
It’s scary, especially when that wall feels like protection, but that is false armor.
The only true, worthy armor is of God.
“Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle, you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:13-17
I didn’t lose my personality, but God did bring out the highlights and help me lighten the dark undertones. I don’t know about everyone else, but I find myself more pleasant than ever.
100% of the people you meet won’t all like you, but you weren’t put here to win a popularity contest.
Your life will flourish 100% more with God steering your ship instead of you.