Prozac and Prayers

In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus.

Say my prayers and take my Prozac before my head hits the pillow.

There is so much stigma around “anti” anything medication, especially as a Christian.

I didn’t want to take it. I was not one to advocate for it even though I study the field of psychology. I do understand there are some things that do need medication, and mental instabilities fall into that category.

However, I don’t think I was depressed. I had been there before, and this was different.

I didn’t lose motivation, stop going to work, or stop wanting to be with my husband.

I was angry, though, and struggled to be happy even when I knew I should be. And it wasn’t a daily occurrence, but too much.

I would become angry to the point I’m pretty sure I was killing plants when I walked by, I was definitely killing myself.

I didn’t want to kill my marriage or other relationships.

I tried EVERYTHING to be satisfied, and let go of the anger, but I couldn’t point at one thing or anything really. I was just waking up mad and walking through my day so mad I couldn’t stand myself.

I couldn’t figure it out. And it’s not new, per se. I have always struggled with my temper, anger, and being happy. I am not an excitable person. But this was getting out of hand.

I prayed all day.

I prayed against what I thought was a spiritual attack.

I exercised. And I walk a lot of miles every week. I eat healthy. I take probiotics and drink water.

I tried baking and eating.

I tried natural remedies.

I don’t drink alcohol or take substances.

I was at a complete loss. So, I broke down and went to the doctor.

I told him what was going on and I needed help before I murdered someone.

I did not want my personality to change. I did not want to feel any effect and I wanted something that would work on the chemical imbalance that I was sure was there.

We talked about Prozac and counseling. And counseling was good, but it’s once a week.

I prayed about the decision and talked to my husband about it before making the decision.

After one week, I felt the edge come off. Like a literal weight was off my mind and I could breathe and relax. After one month, my husband and I both noticed my patience level was better and I wasn’t snapping about just anything.

I checked in with my husband and made sure after one month it was still ok, and I was still myself.

And I made sure I didn’t feel convicted about it. If the Lord made me feel like it was the wrong choice, I wouldn’t have done it.

Here is the thing. I always need Jesus. And for some reason the chemical that releases serotonin in my brain is lacking. Just like some people need diabetic medicine or a medication for their thyroid. I truly believed I needed help that wasn’t spiritual. And God made us each and every one to have gifts and abilities and maybe he made the person who invented Prozac for this reason?

This is not advocacy for substance use in place of feeling your emotions. I have done that.

And this isn’t me saying to take the easy way out. Try everything. And talk to someone with your best interest in mind. I will never stop praying and I will never give up on total control without a pill. It isn’t something I want to be permanent.

But it is okay. Prozac does not negate Jesus. Medications that help you, not harm you and are used correctly, do not negate Jesus.

Be wise in your decisions. Heed the convictions of the Lord.

Don’t feel ashamed by the choices you have to make to protect your state of mind.

 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/ssris/art-20044825

This is only one article. Do your own research and talk to a professional before deciding what is best.

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