If you ever struggle to attend women’s events, this is for you!
Last year, I didn’t pre-register because I wasn’t going back.
I went because I was looking forward to time with my niece and sister-in-law.
I love my church, but I never loved a women’s event.
(still stuck on the fence a bit-it’s a barbed wire fence)
Honestly, I’d take the men’s event any day, but that’s because I was raised in a house of boys.
Making female friends hasn’t been easy for me-I still don’t trust that women like me- even the ones that say they do. (We are all a work in progress).
Being vulnerable with the female population is actually really hard.
In previous events, I didn’t go with an expectant heart.
I went feeling a fear of rejection, avoidance, and loneliness.
And a fear of being the only one who will walk away from the weekend drained-not refreshed and confirming that I was indeed ‘dead inside’.
That is exactly how I felt.
Soo many women were moved by the Holy Spirit. They left refreshed. They left with a sense of peace and a renewed mind.
I left annoyed that I was annoyed and felt more broken than God could begin to fix. (what a lie!)
I also left feeling completely shattered that I was so stuck.
I was the problem. Not other women or God.
I allowed my past encounters and past self to dictate my entire mood and presence that weekend.
I wasn’t vulnerable where I needed to be. I was not there expecting anything from God.
BUT here I am a year later -ready, willing, vulnerable, and EXPECTANT because I spent over 300 days working God’s plan, following His will, and letting Him guide my steps.
I don’t want to be the best I can be. I want to be the best God created me to be and accomplish the tasks meant for my life.
I can’t do that closed off and self-destructive.
I can’t do that wallowing in pity and woes. How dramatic.
If you feel this and it’s scaring you-I get it. I’m a little scared still because for some reason Satan convinced me a long time ago that my true self, my God-given heart and soul, wasn’t good enough and would be rejected.
You will not be rejected.
More women feel this way than you know.
So, come scared if you have to- but vulnerable to let God transform you!