Godly Friendships
That’s what we talked about on the panel last night at church, so in typical fashion, I will reflect on this experience for those of you who relate to my experiences.
My sister-in-law asked if I would take a spot on a panel of 6 women to talk about Godly friendships.
I immediately said “Yes!” because I promised God and myself that this year would be one of experience, growth, and breaking out of my box.
And my box was locked up tight, there is no going back because I might not come out again.
After I said yes, I realized I had little idea about godly friendships as I only recently started feeling like I have friends at all. That also meant I was saying yes to being even more vulnerable than ever in front of a lot of women and I have only done that once with a much smaller group and I wanted to pass out.
I write my heart out and am as transparent as they come, but typing a Word document is a bit different.
Females can be challenging. I learned last night that I’m not alone in this thought. ( Praise God because I thought I was the WHOLE problem).
If a lot of us women have the same feelings about other women, I feel like we should be able to have more grace and understanding than we tend to.
And honestly, likeability is subjective and greatly depends on personality.
We won’t mesh with all the ladies and that’s ok. We have to let it be okay. I am fully aware I am not everyone’s cup of tea.
My gift of being opinionated has its place and it’s rarely welcome anywhere.
Jokes aside…
Godly relationships should all have the same basic characteristics because they should be reflective of our Heavenly Father. They should be comprised of love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. We need people who will lift us up, cheer for us, celebrate with us, and be a listening, non-judgmental supportive ear.
(Find me, I will tell you what you need to hear, no worries there.)
Even after giving my life over to Christ, I still struggled with admitting I needed friends.
I was full of pride- and would never dare admit to anyone I had problems and needed help. I didn’t want to be a burden, but when they love you- they don’t see a burden (that does not mean we take advantage of our friends who have a hard time setting boundaries).
When life knocks you down, and it will, we want to have people there to help us get back on track.
Doing life alone can make you feel tough, at least it did me, it makes you feel strong for a moment because you are an independent woman.
We get lost in the notion of “I don’t need people, if they are around it’s because I want them”.
I get it. I believe I am fully capable of doing what I need to do on my own. I have before. I rose up out of a pit and picked myself up on my own. I can be mean enough to fight off the devil…
But ya know what? It was hell. It was lonely. It was stressful. It was mentally and emotionally taxing.
We do need people. As one of the ladies reminded us, we were not meant to do life alone, but there may be a season of growth we have to face on our own.
When I surrendered everything to God, I closed my eyes and envisioned taking the hand of Jesus and walking everywhere with Him. I pictured the kind of man and teacher He was. I pictured the kind of friend He became to the disciples and that is how I want to be.
I struggled after becoming a Christian because part of me never wanted to let my walls down, I thought they kept me safe. I thought I was protecting my heart like that. I didn’t want people to see a different side of me – the sanded-down edges God has worked on are beautiful yet hard to let people notice.
Being a Christian can feel like a heavy weight because we become more aware -we feel convictions over how we live, our words, and our actions. It’s uncomfortable until it’s a lifestyle, a daily choice to live trying to be salt and light wherever we go.
The walls don’t protect us, they hide us from God and the purpose He created us for.
We don’t put our faith in people because people let us down, but God won’t.
We are told to guard our heart and be careful with it, not lock it up away from others.
Letting God change us for the better doesn’t mean we have to stop being strong women.
We are stronger with a circle of believers than we could ever be on our own.
I still don’t want to admit some of these things… I do, but it kinda burns in the back of my throat. Let God in and I promise the work He will do is going to bring so much blessing into your life.