Every time I’d see my “big” sister I would stare at her because I just missed her so much, but also, she was (is) so naturally beautiful. I don’t recall her wearing makeup when we were younger- to this day she barely does. I think I started wearing makeup when I was 11. I never liked how I looked. My teeth were too big, I was chubby, and you couldn’t see my eyelashes or eyebrows because of my white-blonde hair. I still get self-conscious about not wearing makeup. When I hit puberty I had acne so bad it always embarrassed me. I remember calling my dad one day at school to pick me up because I had some angry red bump on my face that I swore people were staring at.
My first comparison was toward my beautiful sister.
This was in my head. I was never compared to her. My mother has always told me I’m beautiful and never made a negative remark about me. She never told me I needed to lose weight or gain weight- her “body positive” language toward me is probably why I didn’t develop deeper issues.
My sister was always the coolest though. She had friends, guys wanted to date her, and I wanted to be just like her.
I never would be. My sister is petite, and I am several inches taller than her with wide hips. I could never wear her shoes and maybe lasted a year in her “hand-me-downs”.
Comparison is death to your life.
My older brother was always so smart (even though he didn’t finish high school and never went to college- his words).
He was good at anything he did and has an internal drive and motivation to be better, do better, and is competitive, especially with himself.
I was never like that.
Aaron on a football field was a star.
Amanda on a soccer field was always getting yelled at to run.
I will not run, even if something is chasing me. I will stay and fight and maybe die but I will not run. That is survival of the fittest and it’s natural.
I loved playing softball. I chose the outfield though, so I didn’t have to be front and center. Those high school girls rarely hit one to me.
Everything seemed to come so easily to my brother. He just figures stuff out.
My little brother is the same way.
My brothers are actually very handy people.
I can spell even without auto-correct… so, ya know, I have that
Collectively, I have faith that my siblings and I could survive an apocalypse together.
Okay, back to the message.
This is all about comparison.
I spent years comparing my sibling’s great qualities to myself who I didn’t see great qualities in, it is natural when you have siblings to do that.
But
It never stopped—the comparisons and weighing my life against someone else.
Seeing girls who looked naturally beautiful or fit or put together and wondering if that could be me.
When I became a Christian, my comparisons shifted a bit. Which is wild that I still compare after giving my life to Christ, but here we are.
I would see those beautiful ladies on fire for God and I wanted to be that on fire too.
They speak so eloquently and capture their audience, and I want to do that too. (honestly that one surprised me)
They radiate a light for Christ that invites people in, and it relaxes others and I will never be like that because I have a “resting blessed face” that scares people away.
Comparison is death.
It is too easy for the devil to get in our heads the moment we have a thought of “I’m not good enough to do that, be that, etc.”.
He stands behind the curtain dripping in deceit waiting for a sliver of doubt and bursts in flooding our thoughts with more unwarranted self-doubts.
The older I get, the less I compare. Unless it’s against myself because I am ever growing.
The older I get the stronger my walk with God is, that’s no coincidence.
I have to pray to be a woman who cheers for other women because that isn’t natural for me. I want it to be. It’s hard sometimes to see another talent that is so good and doing what I desire for myself. Maybe it stems from years of comparison. Or maybe because it wasn’t modeled for me.
I want to cheer for you. I just have to be reminded- and that it doesn’t take away from me.
I really like this saying, “using your candle to light someone else’s, doesn’t extinguish your flame.”
It’s just part of being a good human. I have had to sift through a lot of sewage in my life to trust God and be a better me.
God never said to compare our walk with anyone else. He gave us unique gifts, a personal journey, and our personality for a reason.
Comparison is death. It steals our joy, our peace and keeps us self-centered.
The individuality of our stories and our walk is how we reach others.
A disciple cannot be made when they are focusing on themselves instead of Jesus.
Comparison kills spiritual growth.
Galatians 6:4-5 “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”
Romans 12:4 “Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you’re a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”