I have done much reflection since Saturday.
I wasn’t sure how to feel.
I thought I would be overcome with emotion.
Overjoyed.
Elated.
I just feel a sense of peace.
Accomplishment I have never felt before.
I get to focus on one less thing for a little bit.
As one chapter comes to an end, another is in the process of being written
The fact that I am here, graduated, and applied to grad school is a miracle.
No one before me went to college -neither my parents nor my grandparents.
I dropped out at 16 with barely any GPA
Drank years of my life away.
Questioned my worth and ability.
I almost threw away the plan and purpose God created for me, within me.
I am so thankful He is a God that stays, unmoving and redeems life to make it new again.
So, as I sit here, finally with time to breathe and reflect I feel satisfied.
The picture in my mind is of me standing, looking around a great big empty room.
Because I did it and I’m moving on to the next.
Walking down the corridor with a path laid out before me,
And I know this next season will also have difficulties, but it will be easier because I am not in control this time.
It feels unreal.
For me, this is a huge feat.
I convinced myself for so long that I wasn’t good enough to have a career.
I wasn’t smart enough to go to college.
I wasn’t capable of more.
I wasn’t this, that…or whatever
I took the long way to find what I am good at and an even longer way to believe it.
Life is not linear.
Sometimes it feels like the only way to success is to army crawl through a thicket of thorny bushes and you still only made 5% progress.
When I surrendered to God’s will and stopped trying to control every aspect of my life, He placed a dream in my heart, gave me a picture, and tested my commitment.
I continue to find myself in situations I would have said no to if I was still piloting my life alone.
I have become better for the work God has been doing in me and through me.
I am better for being stretched and uncomfortable.
God is not finished, so I am not finished.
I am preparing for the next chapter in some very tough scenarios.
God won’t lead us down an easy path, but He will help clear the way.
I am so anxious to see where He takes me, and where He takes my family.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
It works so much easier his way, Doesn’t it!