With all the things that took place I was never in the right headspace to do well in college. I also felt obligated to work and pay for court costs that were racked up. We are married, we took that on together and the decision to do what was best for my bonus son was now my responsibility too.
Other things trickled in here and there as they tend to do.
I started and quit college more times than I recall. Finally, by 2018, it stuck, and I took it slow.
I did one class a semester and proved I could complete it and not become overwhelmed, then I did two classes. I eventually worked up to full-time status, which is at least 12 credit hours (~4 classes).
I worked my way into nursing school, and it could not have been more stressful. Every single thing was so much pressure. I was terrified of nursing school, because if my prerequisite classes were this tough how was I getting through nursing school? I don’t know if you knew this, but nursing school is deemed one of the hardest programs.
I would have been a good nurse as someone who is fulfilled from nurturing others. I would have probably drowned in the details-medication and number were not for me.
When COVID hit, for me personally, it was a blessing of sorts because it opened my eyes to the real problems in society. It opened my eyes to the direction healthcare was headed.
I want to be in the first line of defense against the hard things, not the last line.
We have great nurses in the field but ask most of them and they will all give you a similar answer about healthcare.
I sent in my declination letter to nursing school, changed my major to psychology and never looked back.
The stress fell off of me when I changed my major. My mind likes solving ‘people’ puzzles. My mind does not like math. Psychology fits for who I am. Nursing fit who I was trying to be.
Now, at 35, I am nearly done with my Bachelors. I will graduate this year and I get to keep going. I get to go to graduate school. I have never been more excited about life.
The possibilities-the opening doors-the way I know God is going to use my education, just excites me!
I want to be a moving piece of the church. I am not entirely sure how it will all play out because God never reveals too much at once, but He has begun planting the ideas.
Going against the grain, being on the wrong path, was so much harder than what I am doing now. College is not easy, but it has been better, less stressful and more fulfilling doing it the way God intended.
Now that Michael and I are 11 years in our relationship I feel like things are finally taking off.
We have had great times but for the first several years we weren’t doing life to the best of our ability.
But I have so much peace about it now.
I have learned to be so thankful.
Thankful for opportunity
-Jobs
-Grocery bill
-Our little house
Our abilities and all the ways in which God has blessed our lives.
We have been through some tough times.
And we know it could have been tougher. And it could get tough again.
The change in us will make all the difference in how we handle the hard and recover from it.
The peace we gain from walking in the steps God planned, instead of through the muck we create, is worth all the trials he helps get us through. That sounds like either way we might have problems, but the distinction is that we will continue to carry our muck through every door if we do this on our own.
I will never try this on my own again.
This isn’t the beginning, and it isn’t the end.
A new chapter is being written and this time I don’t have the pen.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28